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Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Lions and tigers come running just to steal your luck..

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Cardigan: H+M
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Dress: Handmade (Gather Kits Mortmain pattern, and Timeless Treasures fabric)
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"Hello Ha" Heels: Irregular Choice
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I've been struggling with how to word this post, to be honest. It's been running through my head for most of the weekend. On Saturday morning I just basically collapsed in a heap in tears and didn't seem to be able to do very much at all. Massively unhelpful as I had so much to do over the weekend, not least trying to make some progress at work, which seems to be filling my every waking thought at the moment.

I guess it's inevitable that at some point, trying to do everything becomes less and less possible. The more things I agree to do, the more I've been feeling like I'm losing myself in all of the things which have a hold over my time. I'd love to see my friends at a weekend, but have to give it a miss as I've promised to help out with something or go to a county training day, or whatever. I know it's my own fault, but I can't seem to switch off and make time for myself anymore as I get consumed with guilt about the things which I feel as though I *should* be using my time for, instead of doing something fun.

I know this is a stupid feeling in some ways, because I've brought it on myself, but it's a struggle nonetheless and I can feel myself sort of teetering on the edge of what I know from past experiences is going to be a fairly bad low period. I've been looking for ways to try and de-stress - Rosie's post has lots of ideas which I'm going to try. Somehow I just have to get it into my head that time spent doing the things I'd like to do, isn't a waste, or a failure.

I did manage to cram a little bit of sewing in this weekend, as I find it calming, and spent a couple of hours making up this lion print Mortmain dress. It's my second Mortmain - the first one I've yet to wear but made the 3/4 sleeve version, whereas this one is sleeveless and I've finished the edges with bias binding instead of facings, as I prefer them. I still really like the waistband feature of this dress, and have been liking the chance to show of some of the vintage metal-teeth zips which Vix sent me, a long time ago!

How do you de-stress? More to the point, how do you manage how much stuff you take on?

16 comments:

  1. I relate completely to how you feel lately, and I'm kind of (I hope) coming out the other side of a patch similar to what you described. My brother text me once just telling me to make a to-do list and cross items off, and it is a good feeling, and makes me feel a lot more collected than when I leave my head in charge of it all. My best friend told me to make a note of things achieved throughout the day - sure you might not have finished everything as planned, but sometimes it's easy to forget how much progress is made. I saw this motivating picture once and it said 'time spent doing something you enjoy isn't time wasted.' I'm trying to remember that. I hope you feel better soon xx

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    1. Thanks lovely, I think I do just need to get my head around the fact that I can allow myself to enjoy my time. Otherwise I'm sure I'm just going to go through life without doing the things I want, and who does that benefit?!

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  2. I think Rosie's post from today is also super relevant - how many of the things that occupy your time are things that you *really* want to do? I'm going to have a go at her list making idea and see if writing things down will help work out where I waste my time. I constantly feel like I don't have enough of it. Can you perhaps step back a bit from the allotment stuff and make your time there more fun rather than more organisational?

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    1. Yes, that's a really good post as well, going to try and take that on board.

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  3. I have been where you are. I find it helps to remember that 'you can do anything, but not everything'. I find that, like you, I'm always doing something but sometimes doing nothing (or doing what you want to do) is essential. It keeps your mind clear, allows you to relax and gives you time to rejuvenate. Sometimes you have to say 'no, sorry I cant do that'. Is it possible that you can reserve a day for yourself every week? Try making a list of all the things you have to do, prioritize it, remove (or postpone) what you can, add in some time just for you and then refuse to add anything else until you've crossed of at least half of the things on there. It's OK to out yourself first, say no to others and be selfish. You have to look after you.
    On another note - the dress - wow! The shoes - love! (love mine too, got so many compliments on them at the weekend, and they're sooo comfortable).
    Take care x

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    1. I think I'm slowly taking charge with some of the things, I've decided that something has to give in terms of spare time, which is one of the reasons behind the decision to step down from my guides unit. That will give me some spare time, which I think I'm going to try and use to give myself some more time to sew and do other things which I enjoy.

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  4. It's lovely being all things to all people, BUT you need time for you too!
    The CBT training got me making lists and scheduling things in. I'm a bit erratic, but it'll improve the more I do it, I guess.
    I second HazelxJoy...you have to look after you; you are allowed time out!
    But, WOW, another fabulous dress.
    Looking good!
    I sent you an email but maybe it got spammed?
    Z xx

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    1. Yep, I think I need to realise that time to myself is not time wasted.

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  5. Oh Char! Perhaps say that for every hour you spend doing something for someone else (and I include work) you should take an hour for yourself. The more you do, the more people expect you do. Don't do things that fall into the "if I don't do it, no-one else will" because if those things are that important, SOMEONE ELSE can do it.

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    1. That was a lot of why my decision to give up my guides unit was so tough - I felt bad because I didn't want the girls to have to go without a unit. But, I'm sure that someone else is more likely to take it over if it looks as though there will be no unit anymore.

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  6. I can't believe you made the drss yourself it's so lovely!

    Salted Roses // UK Fashion Blog

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  7. Oh Char, I am so sorry you are feeling like this! That's rotten and you really just need a break. It's so hard, saying no, but you have to try and do it. Don't feel guilty if you can- you need to have rest, I know you're not a Christian but that's why I believe God gave us the Sabbath (ie. Sunday)- to have a rest, to be able to do nothing as it were, because we really need that as humans or we cannot function well! You are allowed to have a rest! xx
    On the dress front- wowsers- that's amazing! How cool are the zips!x

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    1. It really is tough, I feel as though I don't want to let down the people who are important to me. But the silly thing is that I'm sure those are the ones who would understand.
      Thank you, I really like the zip detail :)

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  8. I've been where you are a lot in the past, and nothing good ever comes from burning the candle at both ends all the time. I speak from experience. Last time led to injury. Although I do agree that time isn't wasted if you're spending it doing something you love. It's when you're wasting it doing stuff you hate that it's time to make some changes!

    If you don't keep a to-do list, write one and prioritize the most important things. It'll help take some of the stress off your shoulders and it'll feel great when you cross each one off. Is there anything that can wait? Postpone them for when your schedule isn't so hectic! I'd also recommend keeping a day, or a couple of evenings a week free for yourself, (even just an hour a day), to do absolutely nothing or the things you love to do most. You need time to relax, have fun, and de-stress so you don't burn yourself in to the ground! I think it's important to put yourself first sometimes, even if it means taking a rain check on something because you're so busy and tired I hope life gets a little brighter again soon, and if you ever need to talk or rant, you're more than welcome to message me!

    On another note, you look amazing. I love the dress, and those shoes are so pretty! xx

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    1. I think I've learnt to do this with the allotment a little - last year I didn't feel much happiness from it, I just kept comparing to the other plots and feeling as though I wasn't doing very well. Realistically, a lot of the other plotholders have a team of people sharing the work, or are retired and manage to spend a lot more time there than I do. I have decided this year that thetre is no point doing it if I'm not enjoying it, so I'm just doing what I can, when I can. OK so it's not going to win any prizes for being the tidiest plot, but I've got a lot more growing this year than I've had in the past and I'm enjoying it more. Learning not to be so hard on myself is something I need to do.

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