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Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Boy meets girl..

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I never really talk about relationships on here, but I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about men and it got me thinking. She was regaling me with tales of the latest creeps and weirdos she'd met via that infamous online dating site, POF. I asked her why she even used it instead of just meeting people in real life and she told me that nobody does that anymore.

I wondered if she was right when I saw this article. Hen Heaven ran an experiment to see how people use Tinder, and what 'type' of guy is likely to be the most popular.

I guess I'm an exception to the rule, as the whole concept of online dating seems a bit weird to me. Mention Tinder to me and I'll more than likely start thinking of that annoyingly catchy Ke$ha song of similar lyrics.

I like people. I like real life. I like socialising and there's nothing better than just talking to people, whether they're new or old friends or anything more. I've never understood anything else, really.

What do you think? Is society moving away from that as technology slowly takes over and our attention spans get shorter? Is dismissing someone (or not) based on their profile picture a little shallow, or is it just the future?

18 comments:

  1. I met my boyfriend through eHarmony. As he will never let me forget, I deleted him from my potential matches as I didn't like a joke he had on his profile. He sent me a message, though, which I did like, and we got chatting, and the rest is history. Does go to show though that people can be very judgemental about what they read!

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    1. I know, it's certainly becoming apparent that first impressions matter, perhaps even more in an online forum.

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  2. Oh goodness!! I'm totally with you in this! I could only get together with someone by knowing them in a social context. I would be far too worried about dodgy talkers even though friends have married internet introductions!x

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    1. I don't think it's the dodgy talker thing which puts me off, I just like meeting people in real life.

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  3. Well I haven't dated for at least 12 years, but it scares me how much has changed since then. I guess you could meet a creep anywhere (and similar with someone nice) so online or real life are probably the same, but I honestly just don't get the whole internet or app dating thing. Seems so unnatural. There's no way I could do it. If I ever start dating again, I have no idea how I'd meet someone. All my friends are married now, so the 'going out' and meeting boys things we used to do doesn't apply...someone at work seems unlikely if I got a job in fashion because there's few men and even fewer straight ones (the problem I had at Uni). I have no idea, but I do know I couldn't do it online.

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    1. I've never "searched" for boys; I've always just met people through general life.

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  4. I had a lot of bad experiences meeting people through uni, work or at clubs and wanted to meet someone outside of my social circle. It's so much easier to move on if the dates don't go well and they aren't connected to my friends in anyway. I went one some lovely dates through okcupid and nobody turned out to be odd.
    I found that internet dating made me speak to men I might never have spoken to if I met them elsewhere. I met Martyn online, he sent me a funny message and we didn't stop talking for a couple of months before we met. He was older than my preffered match age, had different tastes and was outside of the area I had set for matches. If he hadn't sent me a message I wouldn't be living with him now and I'm very happy.

    I have to say I found POF to be full of weirdos and chubby chasers who sent me odd messages because they like fat girls. OKcupid requires people to answer more indepth questions so the messages I got on there were always a little nicer.

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    1. I do know that it can and does work out nicely for a lot of people. I just don't think it'd be for me.

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  5. Hear hear! Altho' I know people who have had success with Internet dating I find the whole thing a sad view of life.
    Zxx

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    1. I'm finding it hard to explain how I feel about it all, I guess.

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  6. I met Andy online. I joined Match.com because all of my friends were married, as were my colleagues and I just didn't socialise with single people it do 'single' things. I learnt not to judge by the picture (although I have to admit I did like the look of Andy). We met soon after starting to message each other online and from that point it was like just any other relationship.
    I'd say don't dismiss it without trying it, but don't take it too seriously. There are some genuine guys out there!

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    1. I don't think I do "single things". To be fair, I'm not looking, or taking any of it seriously. I'm quite happy at the moment, I think this is the first time I've been properly single for more than a week or so in about four years, so it's pretty refreshing.

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  7. It's a tough one - in many ways I hated internet dating, but as a very shy and introverted person it was certainly always going to be easier than meeting people any other way. I had some terrible/funny/boring dates along the way but in the end it did work out well for me. Like Gem, I found OK Cupid the best overall because the depth of the profile and questions meant you can quickly filter people who just aren't for you (for example, I could filter out anyone who was anti-choice, homophobic, etc). In the end, although Thomas and I met through OK Cupid, we hung out as friends for almost two months before starting dating properly, so it was sort of a combination of both ways of meeting someone.

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    1. Perhaps if I was actually looking to meet someone, being able to match up based on interests would be useful. But part of the fun of getting to know someone new, for me, is talking to them and finding out where your views match and where they differ.

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  8. I tried my absolute hardest to meet someone in real life for 4 years, but after joining clubs, getting myself out there, and going on dates with people I met in bars who turned out to be complete freaks, I finally turned to online dating, just to shut everyone up. I joined POF cos I was cheap and didn't want to pay, but met Rich, and the rest is history! We are getting married next year, and although our "how we met" story isn't a cute bumping into each other thing, I'll take the lame "we met online" for how happy I am now :-)

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    1. Gosh, I've never tried to meet anyone. It's always just been a case of it happening.

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  9. I met my long-term boyfriend on Livejournal and we were friends on there for a while before we met up. To be honest, I'm very picky and wanted someone who liked very similar things so we could share those interests, so for me the internet was where I found him. :)

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    1. I suppose I can see the benefits for something like that. I just don't really understand why people seem so scared of meeting people in day to day life. It's weird, so many people I've spoken to seem to have such an aversion to it.

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