Pages

Saturday, 16 July 2016

I saw a ghost.

The other day, I ran into a ghost.

Well, kind of. Someone from what feels like a previous life, I guess. And I was expecting to feel, well, more. Pain, nostalgia, sadness at what they used to mean to me as I feel as though that situation has haunted me for a really long time.

But, I didn't. And I was genuinely surprised at this, because when I think of this part of my life (which I do occasionally, in a "weren't things so much easier when we were young and innocent" kind of way), I always thought I'd do whatever I could to give things another go.

Isn't it funny how once you've gotten so used to being imprisoned by feelings, that they become the norm and maybe you don't realise when you're free of them? It got me thinking how much I'd changed in the past few years and how the things I wanted then probably aren't what would make me happy anymore. Everything moves on and people grow and change at different rates and I guess just because you were at one point moving along happily with someone else, that might not always be the case.

I don't really know if there's a purpose to these thoughts, other than to serve as a reminder to myself that it's okay to change. You just have to accept that change, I guess.

Those words you say but never mean when you catch up with someone you'd not expected or mentally prepared yourself to see again? We exchanged those ("We should catch up sometime."; "You look well.") pleasantries where nobody ever really means it. And got on with our lives. I think I can finally close that chapter of my life without any further thought, and that feels so liberating.

4 comments:

  1. I've been through this, too! I met up with my One Who Got Away, expecting to feel all kinds of pain and confusion, but instead I wasn't sure what all the fuss had been about - he was a nice enough guy but... that was all. Isn't it nice to know we've moved on?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was refreshing to realise it, I think. I guess it was just something I'd assumed would always cast a shadow.

      Delete
  2. Hurrah! I've experienced this too. Years ago now, but I remember the feeling when I realised I wasn't bothered anymore. You're spot on, it's liberating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was really surprising, but I'm happy that things are behind me.

      Delete