Recently, I've felt a little bit lost, incredibly tired and frankly, I've not been as strong as I should have been. Instead of pushing myself to be the usual busy bee that I am, I've been letting my mood sink further and allowing myself to sink into hibernation mode whilst I did so. If I've had plans, it's not taken me much persuading to abandon them and that's something I'm not proud of.
Having been someone who thrives on being busy, this change in pace has definitely had an effect on my mood. A friend told me that he was worried that I seemed sad recently, and that I worry too much. And I know he has a point. I have been. I've noticed the triggers and I don't want my illness to rear it's ugly head so I'm squashing it, resolving to grab more opportunities with open arms, and make #GOMO my new thing. Going Out More Often.
We're always hearing about the FOMO concept - the fear of missing out. Social media doesn't help, as we look at the things other people are doing and we wonder why we weren't included. I'm starting to understand that. Why our life doesn't look like that, or we aren't doing the same things. Well? Why aren't we? What's stopping me, you, any of us from grabbing those opportunities and making things happen? I need to restore the natural order and fix this.
I know I can be the absolute worst at taking my own advice, in so many instances, but I'm forcing myself out of my funk. I need to stop being so scared of what *might* (but probably, in reality, never would) go wrong, and have a little more self-confidence. In myself and in my ability to achieve a little more.
Sure, I often set myself goals - run 5k, lift 100kg, tackle a new project, whatever it might be. I reach those goals, meet those targets and still feel a little dejected. It's not enough. I'm not clever, talented, strong, thin enough. In short, I'm not enough.
I'm starting a list of the things I want to do this Autumn. Here's what I have so far.
- See fireworks. Fireworks are one of my favourite things, so I'm definitely going to a display or a party this year.
- Go to a gig - it's been so long since I last saw any live music and I miss it.
- Keep Parkrunning. I'm enjoying seeing the change of season each week in our local park.
- Walks through the leaves.
- Make some progress at the allotment - I want to build some raised beds in readiness for next year.
- Take more photos outdoors.
- Visit the seaside. I think I have that one covered at the end of November.
- Finally book a city break.
What are you planning to do this Autumn? Do you suffer from FOMO? Or do you prefer to stay cooped up and cosy?