If I'm entirely honest, I never expected my Saturday mornings to consist of donning my leggings and my new trainers and heading to the local park to join the Parkrun.
When I was a kid, I took part in a couple of "cross country" races and although I plodded my way through them, I was never very good. I never took it any further and remember one utterly mortifying sports day when I was nominated for the long distance race (I think it was only a few laps around the track on the field) and being only halfway round when all of the other houses had finished.
I spend more time at the gym than is probably wise and yes, sometimes I use the treadmill I hate it. I find that the only way I can really run on it for very long while is to set up my Kindle and rest it in front of the screen so I can't see how fast etc I'm going.
Sometimes I'll go for a run in the morning, if I'm away for the weekend or can't get to the gym for some reason. However, despite all of the above, I would not say that I'm motivated in any way towards running. I don't enjoy it, I never look forward to it? I'm yet to be bitten by the bug which a lot of my friends seem to have experienced, that's for sure.
My typical thoughts when I'm out for a run go something like this:
- The sooner I get round here, the sooner I can go home and have a coffee.
- I wonder if my trainers are too small. [They're not.]
- Look at all of these people who have *proper* running t-shirts. They've done races. Wow. I'll never be one of those.
- This hill is always steeper than I expect.
- I need to finish this without stopping. As long as I keep going, I don't mind about my time.
- I wonder what my time is, though.
- Maybe I should get some kind of running tracker. Or bring my phone with me so I can run the Strava app. [I never do.]
- Look, kids are running this. (Parkrun.) And they're faster than me. And they're not stopping. If they can do it, I've no excuse.
- Oh shit, is that someone I know?! Please don't talk to me.
- Maybe I should have warmed up more.
- Oh man, a dog. I am so scared of dogs. Don't go near the dog.
- Steep downhill. I wonder if the grip on my soles works better on the path or the grass.
- Can I go home yet?
- Maybe I should just walk for a bit.
- I bet I'm heaps slower than I was last time/ yesterday/ last week.
- I should visit the park more often. It's pretty.
- Imagine running a marathon. Or even 10K. I think I'd die.
- I hate this.
- What am I doing?
- I'm never going to be skinny.
- Thirsty. Maybe I should have brought some water.
- But then I'd need the bathroom.
- I really need to replace the Velcro on this iPod armband.
- Is it going to rain?
- I wish I had one of those jackets which runners wear. But I'd be too hot in it. Where would I leave it? Is that why people have rucksacks?
- God, not even on the home straight yet.
- I hate running.
- I'll never be a runner.
- Why do I do this? If my Parkrun time is rubbish, it'll ruin my whole day.
- I wonder how people learn to pace themselves.
- Ugh, can't wait to get home.
As you can see, I'll never be a runner. Man, I hate it.