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Saturday, 30 September 2017

The mean reds are horrible..

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Jacket: H+M // Shoes: Topshop // Skirt: Warehouse


This week, I'm not sure why but I've been struggling to find my usual inspiration. For outfit planning, for organising things or for writing down my thoughts into blog posts. Hence why it's been a little quiet around here. I think it also doesn't help that I've got a lot on my plate when it comes to work and various other commitments, so I'm finding myself with less spare time than I'd like, whilst also trying to fit more into it than usual / than is physically possible.
 
On-going things such as making headway with some of my dressmaking projects, house-hunting and clearing out my wardrobes of some of the things I will just never wear again have not been going amazingly, but there we are. I've also been feeling as though I'm more tired than usual, and suffering from pretty regular headaches, which is hindering my inspiration.

If I were a more organised person, I'd probably plan my next day's outfit in advance, using my trusty Dressed app, and I'd locate what I needed, which would avoid the daily forage into the wardrobe room, taking my life into my hands to avoid being crushed by coats or a shoebox avalanche. Very real possibilities. I'll then find that if I don't like what I've chosen, I'm not sure how to proceed. Since I'm feeling less and less inspired or happy with the way I look lately, I'm more likely to pick fault with an outfit. I don't remember the last time I felt "happy" with something I wore, which is a big reason for not buying a lot of new clothes lately - I'm not sure if this unsure feeling will extend to those too, which I figured means I'm probably better off trying to work with what I already have..?
 
I'm not sure how to combat these feelings. I'm no bigger in dress size than I was in the past, although my frame is more muscular and whilst I love the working out part, I hate this fact. I feel as though I fight a life-long losing battle with my body shape as just when I think I'm finding something which will make me more confident about it, my brain will plot-twist it's way into finding another flaw to focus on instead.

When I try to explain these thoughts, I tend to get comments saying how proud I should be that my body can do various things, and I how grateful I should be to be in my position and whilst I do appreciate that, I'm struggling to re-programme my thoughts, as it were.
 
So, above outfit became a kind of "safe" fall-back outfit for a meeting I had to go to recently. This black skirt is a little high-waisted, which I know should do flattering things to my shape, and I wore it with heels and some opaque printed stockings to hide my legs a little. I wasn't particularly pleased with it, and I could have spent hours changing things up, but I don't think I would have been any happier. I find that when I feel this way, I spend more time than usual comparing myself to other body shapes and types in the room, in the street, on TV, wherever. And whatever it is, I always find myself lacking.
 
Here's hoping that this shall pass. I'm going to try and focus on taking part in Smile and Make's October novelty outfit challenge over on Instagram, which might be a way to find some of that outfit inspiration.

2 comments:

  1. I never know what to say when you share your body woes as I know what it is like when you tell someone you're not happy with something and they try to reassure you. I feel like that about flute performances I have given. You know they're right, you know they're trying but you're still not happy about the thing!
    I'm feeling incredibly gloomy about the whole house situation at the moment and wrote a blog post about it. Loads of lovely bloggers left me supportive comments but still the 'maybe it happened for a reason and something better will come along' comments just made me sadder. Sophie's comment was the best. She just said that the whole situation was a shitter and I was right to be angry!

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  2. I look forward to seeing your outfits for novelty outfit challenge! I'm sorry you're feeling a bit uninspired. If it's any consolation I love seeing what you're wearing anyway, this outfit looks great.

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