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Friday, 1 March 2019

Hibernating..

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Do you ever feel a little bit like there's something not right, but you can't put your finger on it?

Quite aside from the fact that I can't remember a time before this current headache, lately I've been feeling awful. A combination of the unexplained stomach pains which have been plaguing my life for the past ten years or so, combined with joint pain when I wake up in the morning, particularly in my elbows and knees, and just a general feeling of exhaustion. I know that it's become something of a competitive sport these days to bang on and on about how tired one is, but I mean I often feel as though it physically hurts to keep my eyes open.

And I'm tired of it. Tired of having to retire to bed before 9pm in an evening; tired of telling my friends that I can't meet up, or missing the gym, or admitting to M that I don't want to do something because I feel too poorly. It's crappy, and it's a sign of weakness and it's making me sad. Which can only be making the whole thing worse, right?

And really, I don't know what the point in sharing this is, other than to try and let the thoughts escape from my head. I have become something of a regular at my doctor's and every time the latest test comes back inconclusive, I feel as though I'm a terrible waste of everyone's time and resources. So I now also have this overwhelming sense of guilt hanging over it all, too.

So, I guess if anyone needs me I'll be hibernating until further notice. Or until the next lot of painkillers kicks in, at least.

 

8 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you're struggling so much at the moment. Has your doctor considered arthritis as a reason for your joint pain, or M.E. / Chronic Fatigue causing your exhaustion? They're definitely worth looking in to if not. I have arthritis and my joint pain and stiffness is always bad in the morning from not moving my joints all night. Also, it's not a sign of weakness having to say no to something and put your health first; quite the opposite! You have to do what's right for you when you're not feeling well or you'll just run yourself further in to the ground. Don't be so hard on yourself for it. I hope you get some answers and begin to feel much better really soon. xx

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    1. Hi lovely, none of those have been mentioned or considered by the GP. They tend to just put "tiredness" down to lifestyle and make a bland suggestion to get more rest. I do find it hard to be taken seriously, but also wonder whether I make too much fuss about it.

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  2. I assume you've had thyroid done. If so, TSH, T3 and T4. Pay private to have REVERSE T3 and REVERSE T4 done. It might give a clue... Sorry to hear you feel like this. I've been there...

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    1. I believe they did test thyroid activity on one of the first lots of blood tests and they told me there wasn't anything untoward shown on those...but this would have been more than nine years ago, so it's certainly something I'll mention again. I'm sorry to hear that you've been in a similar situation and hope things are better now.

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    2. GPs and endos are notoriously conservative with thyroid. Even of the TSH comes back'normal' insist on the T3 and T4 being done, particularly if TSH is near the ends of the normal boundaries. You do sound like classic Hypothyroid. A box of Thyroxine might change your life... Good luck... Xx

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  3. Oh Char, I am sorry you feel like this. It's horrid and I wish you could get a diagnosis and get a solution to it. 10 years is a long time.
    I've not had such a long experience but I've been getting weird pains on my left side for 10 months or so- sometimes in the groin, sometimes down that leg a bit, sometimes a bit higher and I went to the doctors and it turned out I had a urine infection which might explain it. I had had similar pains 18months before which wou;dn't go for months and then eventually after the doctor saying I had bloog in my urine and it might be an infection, it seemed to go away then. Except this time, it wouldn't go and I had about 4 sets of antibiotics. Eventually the pains subsided but they've been coming back again and I don't know if it is another infection or there is something deeper rooted and it does scare me a bit. My anxiety has been very short-lived in comparison to yours and much less severe but what I am trying to say is that I understand that it is worrying and affecting you.xx

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    1. I sometimes think that the feeling of uncertainty can be just as bad as the actual symptoms. I'll keep trying to get some kind of resolution.

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  4. Please keep going back and don't give up! There is no need to feel this way, especially not for this amount of time. You're absolutely not making a fuss, you're concerned about your health and your quality of life. GPs are there to help you with this! If you're GP can only suggest your rest, then get a second opinion, ask to be referred to a specialist, a haematologist perhaps? Your blood can tell you almost anything about your health. I'm so sorry you've been fobbed off for so long.
    xx

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