Monday, 3 February 2014

Baby boy can't lift his headached head, isn't it tragic..

Louche Jacqui Rose Print Dress
Shoes: Topshop // Bag: Love Moschino
Jumper: F+F
A fairly standard work outfit which I actually wore for my first day back in January. I'm falling rather behind with outfit posting, which is OK, because I haven't really taken very many lately. This is mostly down to the fact that I've fallen into a horrible spiral of body hatred, which I'm really struggling to escape from.

I know I've talked about it before, but if anything I think I'm getting worse in my confidence. I just have no idea how to look past everything I hate when I look in the mirror. People say "look past the bad things and focus on the good!", but as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing good.

I have literally no idea how to tackle this. People have suggested CBT but I'm not sure. I've mentioned it to the GP in the past and was told it was unnecessary for me. I've been trying to take my mind off it by focusing on other things, so I've come up with a big list of the things I'd like to get done. Sewing and spring cleaning feature highly on this list.

If I'm not going to move house for a little while, I really need to do something to replace the cheap Ikea wardrobes in my clothes room, whose rails are now at the stage where they are bent beyond repair, due to too many dresses! I've got my eye on something like this, which would be great as they could actually fit the whole length of the room. So, tonight's job is to measure up.


  1. Sorry to hear this Char, from my perspective you have *nothing* to hate but I understand entirely how you can feel that way. I'd go back to the GP and possibly ask to see somebody different... some doctors are so awful. Once, my best friend (after MUCH coaxing and emotional upheaval) made the difficult decision to agree to go to her GP and admit that she was suffering from anorexia yet she was more or less turned away without help. These issues are real and need to be catered for, but I sometimes feel that doctors confuse issues such as body dysmorphia/anxiety/depression as people just whining unnecessarily and to be honest it's made me reluctant to go. But there has to be somebody out there that will be able to give you advice that will help, and CBT sounds like a good technique: it worked for my housemate, at least.
    (On a lighter note.. I love those shoes.) xx

  2. I'm sorry to hear this.. as the person above said GPs can be rubbish so if you can see a different one instead that might help. I've had BDD in the past and it was more than just feeling crappy for a day or two, often people that mean well can find it hard to grasp this! I hope you can get some support xxx

  3. I had to battle with 3 GPs to get some CBT. Work are providing some sessions for me until I can be seen. My issues consume my life and the GP just couldn't see that. I always ask to see a female GP if my problems are acne or eating related now. It's not always a case of snapping out of it. I always think you look lovely but I know that's not any consolation when you feel the way you do xx

  4. You know my thoughts on your GP :( I hope another doctor or surgery is an option cos it doesn't seem like the current one is any use whatsoever.

  5. GPs really can be awful and I agree with everyone else, maybe a new doctor is the way forward? I know it isn't any consolation but I always think how nice you look!

    Maria xxx

  6. It's so sad to see someone as lovely and stylish as you struggling confidence wise. I agree with everybody, change doctors. Hammer on doors till someone listens to you as it is serious and affecting your day to day life. Would temporarily stepping away from daily outfit posts help? Not that I want to see you stop blogging, but perhaps taking a break from taking/analysing photographs of yourself on a daily basis would ease some stress(?) Just a thought.

  7. Sorry to hear that, guess there's nothing a friend can suggest you to feel better but i would say that focusing on something you like as sewing is a good thing. As the other girls wrote, changing doctors would be a good idea! So hope you feel better soon!!! xx Tani

  8. Your GP is an idiot. Go back, see someone else. Don't give up, you shouldn't have to put up with feeling this way.
    Have fun with the things you've got planned, a good spring clean always feels good!

  9. I am so sorry that you are suffering in this way. I have struggled in a very similar way in the past and believe me - things really will improve! I have been outside my comfort zone recently with a complete transformation of style and have documented it in a new blog http://rebeccatriestrousers - you might like to take a look!

  10. I think you're wonderful, don't forget that <3

  11. Learning to love and accept yourself can be a rough journey. I've walked that one before and I can empathize. Try to list at least 3 positive things about yourself in a daily journal. It's good practice and builds the habit of self-love. You can do it!

  12. I'm really sorry that you're struggling on at the moment. From my point of view, you always love lovely; you have amazing long legs, and a lovely figure! (And fantastic style!) But I know exactly how it feels to hate everything about your body, and not believe others when they list compliments. I didn't start to accept myself until I'd injured myself at 26 and found the world of body positivity and acceptance blogs. (And two and a half years later I'm still working on getting there). I can't say it'll work for everyone, but I found body positivity blogs really helped; it was inspiring to see bodies of all shapes and sizes being celebrated. I've heard quite a few people say that avoiding magazines full of size zero models helps them, too, instead concentrating on fashion blogs where people of all sizes are portrayed. And I'd definitely ask to see a different doctor who will actually listen to what you're saying. There are too many out there that are bloody useless, but there are also some that will listen and work out how to help you. Good luck!

    I love the outfit you're wearing, and I think that wardrobe is lovely. I wish I had room for a wall to wall fitted wardrobe... one day! Right now I'm thinking of a way to store my bags better! xx

  13. I also agree with the others, maybe a different doctor would be of more help? I hope you start to feel better soon. You have such an amazing shoe collection, I really need to learn to walk in heels ha!

    Tara x

  14. you deserve to be happy and healthy - change your doctor and find someone who will listen and take action.
    you are beautiful in my opinion!
    Best wishes to you.
    Stopping by from

  15. Sorry to hear this babe, but believe me you have things good things about you! I know how you feel though, you can receive tonnes of compliments but you'll feel no differently. You just need to tell yourself you are though. Sounds silly but I find it works. I look at myself sometimes and think eugh your legs are so jiggly... but when that does happen I turn it around, your legs are so jiggly, look at them amazing curves around your hips and hello look at that arse! Alot of the time when my skin breaks out I feel so ugly, but then I'll so my hair give it curls and make it really big and bouncy, your covered in yukky spots for the time being but look at how amazing your hair looks.

    You my lady have amazing hair, I would KILL to have hair like that! There are people out there that spend LOADS on products to get the style like yours. You may not like everything about yourself, but just try and remember there are people out there who would do anything to have your figure...

    I'm not being horrible with that link, but it's true...You are a beautiful women, please please tell yourself that <3