Saturday, 22 October 2016

How to solve the Fear Of Missing Out..


Recently, I've felt a little bit lost, incredibly tired and frankly, I've not been as strong as I should have been. Instead of pushing myself to be the usual busy bee that I am, I've been letting my mood sink further and allowing myself to sink into hibernation mode whilst I did so. If I've had plans, it's not taken me much persuading to abandon them and that's something I'm not proud of. 

Having been someone who thrives on being busy, this change in pace has definitely had an effect on my mood. A friend told me that he was worried that I seemed sad recently, and that I worry too much. And I know he has a point. I have been. I've noticed the triggers and I don't want my illness to rear it's ugly head so I'm squashing it, resolving to grab more opportunities with open arms, and make #GOMO my new thing. Going Out More Often.

We're always hearing about the FOMO concept - the fear of missing out. Social media doesn't help, as we look at the things other people are doing and we wonder why we weren't included. I'm starting to understand that. Why our life doesn't look like that, or we aren't doing the same things. Well? Why aren't we? What's stopping me, you, any of us from grabbing those opportunities and making things happen? I need to restore the natural order and fix this. 

I know I can be the absolute worst at taking my own advice, in so many instances, but I'm forcing myself out of my funk. I need to stop being so scared of what *might* (but probably, in reality, never would) go wrong, and have a little more self-confidence. In myself and in my ability to achieve a little more. 

Sure, I often set myself goals - run 5k, lift 100kg, tackle a new project, whatever it might be. I reach those goals, meet those targets and still feel a little dejected. It's not enough. I'm not clever, talented, strong, thin enough. In short, I'm not enough. 

I'm starting a list of the things I want to do this Autumn. Here's what I have so far.
  • See fireworks. Fireworks are one of my favourite things, so I'm definitely going to a display or a party this year.
  • Go to a gig - it's been so long since I last saw any live music and I miss it. 
  • Keep Parkrunning. I'm enjoying seeing the change of season each week in our local park.
  • Walks through the leaves. 
  • Make some progress at the allotment - I want to build some raised beds in readiness for next year. 
  • Take more photos outdoors.
  • Visit the seaside. I think I have that one covered at the end of November.
  • Finally book a city break. 
What are you planning to do this Autumn? Do you suffer from FOMO? Or do you prefer to stay cooped up and cosy?


  1. My husband definitely gets Fear of Missing Out. I get it occasionally but I do like lazing around when I can so I don't mind. He worries about not having many friends and everyone having larger houses, more fun etc. I just drift along.

    I know the thoughts in your head won't allow you to hear this but I don't think that you arent clever, talented, strong, thin enough. Certainly don't think you're not enough. You have a good job which you must do well, you help many children through Guides and that is a talent. You have a talent for making things, pushing yourself and I think you are very pretty. I am definitely not strong, I've put on weight and things don't fit me but that's just the way it is, it sounds corny but for me, God loves me the way I am, even when I'm a grumpy cow (which is most of the time).
    I don't know what the answer for you is but certainly this list is a great start. I'm cheering Team Char!x

    1. Thank you. I can't fight those thoughts, but I am doing my best to work on being more positive.

  2. I have to agree with Kezzie. You are your own worst critic, no one else would say all of these things about you. In short, you ARE enough.
    Chasing the next goal is admirable, but you also need to take time to reflect on the moment, on what you have already achieved in life. You've already accomplished so much, and have a lot to be proud of.

    1. I know that I can be my own worst enemy about so many things. I am trying to be better and to slow down a little.

  3. I can relate, even though it's under completely different circumstances. I've just recently started pushing myself to get out more (I'm going to divulge the huge story on the blog when I find the time), but that's been after almost 3 years cooped up in the house (not by choice). I'm finding that now I'm doing a little bit, I want to do more and more, but unfortunately am not capable of it (physically) and so I'm totally having the FOMO thing. If anything the 3 years where I went nowhere was easier, because I kinda forgot how awesome it was getting dressed and seeing and doing things and it was easier to say no to everything than pick and choose what has to be done. Now I've got that taste for it, I'm realising what I've been missing out on and permanently feel like I'm missing out on x and y. It's hard though because it's just not achievable for me to do's difficult when your mind is wanting one thing, but your body won't comply. I think you have a good list there of varied and achievable things and I'm sure you'll appreciate doing them.

    1. I know this feeling and it's rotten; I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

  4. I've really struggled with anxiety the last few years, so that even when I make plans, I find myself struggling to get out of the house because I'm so anxious about.... what? I probably couldn't even tell you. But I've missed some huge things - Leicester City's celebrations after they won the Premiership, my sister-in-law's Hen Do - because I get so freaked out. So yep, I know exactly where you're coming from.