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Thursday, 15 October 2015

You can't sit with us..

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Shirt: Zara (inherited from Rosie) // Necklace: Vintage // Blazer: Tu // Brooch: Claire's
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Shorts: H+M // Brogues: F+F
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Magic Pony bag: Irregular Choice

It's been an odd week so far, like a little cloud has been hanging over my head, tainting the days. I've been running some things around in my head for the past few days, but four days on, I'm still pretty livid. 

When I was in the first few years of secondary school, I used to get hung up on friendships and it really used to bother me when people fell out with one another. This seemed to be a common occurrence with 12 year olds; one week you'd be best friends with X and the next nobody would be speaking to her because she'd worn the wrong hair bow, or used the wrong colour gel pen, or something equally trivial.

By the time I'd got to the fourth and fifth year of school, I'd grown truly sick and tired of this kind of Mean Girls attitude, where someone would decree "oh, we're not speaking to so-and-so" and everyone was expected to oblige. I flicked between groups of friends, which was fine as I get bored easily. That's something I still do now to some extent. 

I expected to leave that type of playground behaviour behind me when I left school, but it seems this isn't quite the case. 12 years on, I received a message from a university friend basically telling me that she no longer wanted to be friends. She, a few years ago, fell out with a mutual friend of ours and expected everyone to take sides. At the time, I refused to, and I've stuck to my guns there as I have a great relationship with the person and see her often. 

This, apparently ended friendship, has been a little more tricky of late. Despite making efforts to see and catch up, to invite and include her to things, it's been a long time since we saw one another. I've sent letters and cards so that she knows I'm thinking of her and tried to stop in when passing (she doesn't live nearby) only to be told that she had moved and not told me. At this point, I wondered if I was trying to hold on to something which was no longer there. 

Unfortunately, waking up in crippling pain at the weekend (again) meant that I wasn't able to drive to see her when she expected me to. Apparently, this combined with the fact that she knows I've recently seen the friend she doesn't speak to, means that we can no longer be friends. 

And y'know what? I am just going to let that one go. Life's too short and I'm not in the playground anymore. 

12 comments:

  1. It's a real shame when people can't seem to let go of that playground mentality and feel the need to be mean for no reason to their own good friends, it's horrible to go through and I know what you mean. I'm sorry that's happened to you Char and if your friend is willing to end a good friendship for something so small then they aren't a genuine friend to you, so maybe it's for the best. I'm sure there are plenty of people who love and want to be around you without those petty things, both here online and in the real world, so I wouldn't dwell on them and it sounds like you aren't. Sending you love! And that bag is adorable! - Tasha

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    1. To be honest Tasha, there's a time when I would have clutched at every straw I could and resisted the end of a friendship, but I've finally come to realise that that level of desperation can't help either side. It's best to leave things be when someone's made a decision like this.

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  2. I hate friendships ending and I'm pretty sensitive about feeling that someone doesn't like me anymore so I'd be very upset by this. But as you say, if someone is that childish, then there's nothing you can do. How disappointingly petty though.x

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    1. It's been quite upsetting, yes. But I guess life goes on.

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  3. Her loss, I would say. Hope you feel better about it soon.

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  4. I hate it when people fall out with each other but sometimes letting go of (toxic) friendships is for the best

    Maria xxx

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    1. Isn't it such a horrid feeling?

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  5. Yes. Yes to all of this. I've been getting to the stage where I'm sick of people, which is bad because there are nice people out there. I've had two previously close friends completely cut me out over the last 2 years and I don't really know what I did wrong (or if I did anything wrong?!) It hurts, but I've chosen to move on from it. Things like this make you realise who your true friends are and thankfully I still have a couple of those. I'm sure you do too! You're better off without this person (and the same applies to my situation). Life's too short for petty, toxic crap like that.

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    1. I think you have to move on from it, I've spent enough time after previous relationships trying to cling onto what was once there and it stops you being able to gain any enjoyment from other aspects of your life.

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  6. I'm sorry that you fell out with your friend, but sounds like maybe its the best thing in the circumstances. At least you have a super cute unicorn purse.

    www.adventuresofagirlfromthenaki.blogspot.com

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