|Shirt: Zara (inherited from Rosie) // Necklace: Vintage // Blazer: Tu // Brooch: Claire's|
|Shorts: H+M // Brogues: F+F|
|Magic Pony bag: Irregular Choice|
It's been an odd week so far, like a little cloud has been hanging over my head, tainting the days. I've been running some things around in my head for the past few days, but four days on, I'm still pretty livid.
When I was in the first few years of secondary school, I used to get hung up on friendships and it really used to bother me when people fell out with one another. This seemed to be a common occurrence with 12 year olds; one week you'd be best friends with X and the next nobody would be speaking to her because she'd worn the wrong hair bow, or used the wrong colour gel pen, or something equally trivial.
By the time I'd got to the fourth and fifth year of school, I'd grown truly sick and tired of this kind of Mean Girls attitude, where someone would decree "oh, we're not speaking to so-and-so" and everyone was expected to oblige. I flicked between groups of friends, which was fine as I get bored easily. That's something I still do now to some extent.
I expected to leave that type of playground behaviour behind me when I left school, but it seems this isn't quite the case. 12 years on, I received a message from a university friend basically telling me that she no longer wanted to be friends. She, a few years ago, fell out with a mutual friend of ours and expected everyone to take sides. At the time, I refused to, and I've stuck to my guns there as I have a great relationship with the person and see her often.
This, apparently ended friendship, has been a little more tricky of late. Despite making efforts to see and catch up, to invite and include her to things, it's been a long time since we saw one another. I've sent letters and cards so that she knows I'm thinking of her and tried to stop in when passing (she doesn't live nearby) only to be told that she had moved and not told me. At this point, I wondered if I was trying to hold on to something which was no longer there.
Unfortunately, waking up in crippling pain at the weekend (again) meant that I wasn't able to drive to see her when she expected me to. Apparently, this combined with the fact that she knows I've recently seen the friend she doesn't speak to, means that we can no longer be friends.
And y'know what? I am just going to let that one go. Life's too short and I'm not in the playground anymore.